My Big Fat Y2K
Each time we ring in a new year it reminds me of the night my fiance (now wife) and I spent watching the servers at my office roll over to the year 2000. In the fall of 1998, I had started my new career as a network administrator, and the fear of Y2K was everywhere. When the date changed to 01/01/00, the experts were telling us that the computers would all think it was 01/01/1900, and systems around the world would begin to crash. So, we stood there celebrating our first new year together, waiting for the servers to crash. And wouldn’t you know it…nothing happened. Not a single machine or program had any issues with the new millennium. Even the oldest computer in the building never skipped a beat. The Y2K apocalypse was a joke.
A few months later, I would find myself in church for the first time in nearly 4 years. My fiance’s family asked me to join them for Easter. Now, if you’ve ever seen the movie “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” you’ve seen my story. My in-laws immigrated from Greece in the mid-70s and as such they were required to attend the Greek Orthodox Church. I had never heard of the Greek Orthodox Church, but I figured it was just a church for Greeks. Makes sense right? Little did I know…I was in for more than I bargained for. As the service started the chanting and singing were mainly in Greek, which was to be expected. Chanting was not something done in the United Methodist Church, but it didn’t bother me. At times it actually sounded kind of cool. I even remember at one point a strange feeling came over me. Like the literal chill that runs down your spine. It was weird. Then the procession began.
On Good Friday, there is a procession led by the priest and a group carrying what’s known as the Epitaphios. You can call it what you want, but It seemed to me like we were staging a funeral procession. Basically, an icon depicting the crucified Christ was carried outside the church and then venerated by the parishioners as they re-entered the cathedral. To me, it was one of the strangest things I had ever seen. My fiance was trying to explain it to me but I wasn’t getting it. When it came time for us to re-enter the cathedral, I balked. I saw all these people doing the sign of the cross and venerating the icon, and I was at a total loss. I asked my fiance, “Was I allowed to do this? What if I didn’t do it? Should I just wait here and avoid it altogether?” I had no idea how to proceed, and she couldn’t give me a satisfactory answer, so I opted out. I stepped aside and let everyone go back into the church. In a show of solidarity, my future brother-in-law and cousin stayed outside with me. Well…that was the wrong choice. Within minutes, the proverbial shit hit the fan. My future in-laws were upset, and my fiance was upset. I had embarrassed them all. Not a great start with the Greeks. In my defense, I was trying to be respectful. I didn’t want to offend anyone. I may not have been the most religious person, but I have always tried to respect the religious customs of others. I didn’t want to do anything I wasn’t supposed to do.
The Easter incident eventually blew over and we were married in that same cathedral. The wedding, and everything leading up to it, was straight out of “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. Fortunately, my United Methodist baptism was acceptable, so I was allowed to skate on that requirement. As a Methodist, I wouldn’t be allowed to take communion, but I hadn’t taken communion for 20 years, so that was not a big deal. Once we settled into married life, it was pretty much business as usual. We weren’t big churchgoers. There was the occasional celebration or memorial that we would attend, and of course Easter, but for the most part, my Sundays didn’t change much. I slowly got used to life in a Greek family, and I even learned to speak a little Greek. The church services were not my cup of tea, but I could handle the occasional trip. The parishioners were friendly, the food was incredible, and despite not being Orthodox, I slowly became part of the community. The Greeks have a funny way of growing on you.
